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A Road Trip of Roadside Attractions Through America’s Midwest: Part 1
“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” ~Those fucking kids. I swear to God, I will drive this van into a ravine. America is a land of roads. More than any other nation, the...
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A Road Trip of Roadside Attractions Through America’s Midwest: Part 2
“NOW are we there yet? NOW are we there yet?” ~GODDAMN IT KIDS THIS IS WHY YOUR MOTHER LEFT AFFotD took you on a magical journey through America’s Heartland in the first leg of our Road Trip through...
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A Road Trip of Roadside Attractions Through America’s Midwest: Part 3
“Daddy, mom said that we’re supposed to call the police if you start drinking behind the wheel again.” ~How many times does daddy have to tell you kids to shut the hell up? America is a glorious,...
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Four Loko on Guitars, Fallout Shelters, and Masonic Decals: [REDACTED] Goes...
“…This…seems like it’s a trap.” ~[REDACTED] Listen, intrepid readers, To a story of woe and fears Of our brave soul, [REDACTED] Who has suffered all these years. Once a journalist Of an investigative...
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Four Loko on Guitars, Fallout Shelters, and Masonic Decals: [REDACTED] Goes...
“Actually…this is kind of my speed.” ~[REDACTED] It was just yesterday Where you no doubt read Of a Midwestern trip Made by [REDACTED] As he drove ‘cross the plains He trembled with feer He’d made it...
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Eastward Bound: A Road Trip Through America’s Heartland
“Mister, who are you? Where’s our mommy? We’re scared.” ~Oh shit, this isn’t our car A while back, we showed you the Midwest of America through a drunken Road Trip filled with giant, oversized...
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Carhendge Is Up For Sale: AFFotD’s Pledge Drive
“Liquefy all our assets NOW! Shit, shit, wait, no I don’t mean MELT them, I mean…forget it, I’ll do it myself.” ~AFFotD’s Accountants If we’ve learned anything from those Chrysler commercials with...
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America’s Largest Roadside Attractions in the World
“…Wait we drove all the way just for this?” ~Disappointed children everywhere America likes things big, and while normally that would be our cue to raise our eyebrows and euphemistically write out...
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